Dieting: It never goes out of style...

Since I don't have much to report on my diet, other than I'm hungry, and that I have kept the 3 pounds off so far(yeah me), I thought it would be fun to go back in time and take a look at some old diet advertisements that for some reason never took off...

Some things never change...Well actually they do. Take a look at some of these weight loss tips:

Well If that's all I have to do. I have no problem eating!

Well isn't this typical? The men are allowed to eat all the food. However, it doesn't seem like a good idea to eat 1 lb of meat a day, nor all that butter, maybe that's why women live longer...

And now, a word from the meat institute: "Do you feel tired, listless, washed out? Don't blame it one the heat. Blame it on lack of meat! It might be due to a lack of quality protein, the kind found in meat. All meat. Any meat, not just beef. Don't forget your frankfurters or wieners folks. A delicious way to help keep trim!" (How come no one told me this before?)

Shake, Shake, Shake...Shake your groove thang....


Why this never took off, I'll never know. A device that lets you lay around and do nothing, while it reduces your hips? Come on. It couldn't get better than that.

Here's a diet I can relate to. Candy. One of my main food groups. You mean if I eat candy, I can loose weight? Sign me up!

This is downright scary. I wonder how many people realize that these pills contain a uninary incontinence aid? And look at all the options. Orange pills, red pills, blue pills, green pills, happy pills...

A must read for every teenager. Get clear skin and loose weight, and you too will be popular!

No more laxatives. Just chew gum and the weight will melt away.

Hmm..Maybe there is a reason, these never took off. Could it possibly be that...

diets don't work?

In other news...

How gross is this? Selling tapeworms as a diet aid? Ick.

On another note, I'm proud to report those 3 pounds I lost, are still gone! Funny thing is, I haven't changed my eating habits yet. Although I think the stomach issue, I've been having these past few days, may have had something to do with it.

As long as it's coming off and not on, I'm not complaining.

And no, I don't have a tapeworm. At least not intentionally. Ha. Ha.

Oh Sweet Jesus...Thank You!

However, I think something may be wrong.

See I just weighed myself, and found that I had lost 3 pounds. You heard me. 3 pounds! How? How does that happen? I have not, despite what I said in my earlier post, been dieting. I mean I had Chinese food for dinner last, including walnut prawns which is basically pure fat congealed to shrimp. So very bad for you, but oh so tasty too! So you can see my confusion here.

When I last posted I had every intention of dieting, but then shark week came along and with it the cravings. Therefore, weight loss, sadly is not on this weeks itinerary.

Now of course that I lost 3 pounds without trying, that makes me wonder if I can just sail along with no effort and watch the pounds disappear. But, then reality kicks me in the head, and I realize that's exactly how I got into this mess in the first place. So I accept this wonderful, wonderful loss as a gift, and I will put every effort into making sure that loss continues. Yes. This means I will diet. (Just not until next week).

Don't believe me? Well, I'm not sure I do either...

Fat Explosion

I'm in a serious crisis now. The fat is expanding not reducing. Every day a new pound arrives on my stomach. My willpower is non-existent and summer is but a few months away. I. Need. Serious. Help! Not to mention more stretchy pants.

I realize as I write this post while eating a bowl of ice cream, that I really shouldn't complain about my weight gain. After all I only have myself to blame. The problem is, I just can't seem to stop myself from stuffing things like chocolate chips, cashews, and Brie cheese into my pie hole.

I am now convinced, that I have a mutant willpower gene/mechanism/button, whatever. From day 1 willpower and I haven't gotten along. I cannot think of a time where it has stood by my side, and supported me in my hour of need. Instead it chooses to abandon it's post long before the job is done, (really what kind of job performance is that)? Therefore I have decreed it must be broken, and it is by no means my fault that I cannot say no to temptation. Right? Hmmm...

Food = glorious, yummy, delicious, delectable ... I would go on, but it's making me hungry. Diet? = yucky and is a very bad word. Why can't good tasting, high fat foods be healthy? What kind of cruel trick was it, to introduce the people of the world to such delights as pizza, ice cream, and cream sauces? If you're gonna get me hooked on something, don't tell me it's bad. For Pete's sake I already had to give up drinking and smoking. Don't take away my yummy food too!

However, as I watch my fat grow and expand upon new territory,(when did my armpits get fat)!? It's painfully clear that if I don't fight back with heavy artillery, (bazooka's, liposuction)? I will loose this battle of the bulge for good. In an attempt to combat the blubber and fix this unsightly mess that is my body, I will (shudder).... get ready for it (gasp!) .... drum roll please ...

START MY DIET TOMORROW!!

What? Don't you trust me? Honest. This time I mean it.

Right now though, there is a bowl of ice cream that needs finishing...