New Beginnings...

Wow, I'd just about given this blog up for the ghost, when two things happened yesterday.

First I want to put forth a huge thank you to Stace from Piffel Drivel and Fluff, for encouraging me to keep this blog going, by giving it a new spin. I love the idea!

She has a wonderful food philosophy that I can totally relate to. And stick with! What is it you say? It's simple.

Instead of focusing on dieting, which as we all know, I can't stick to any, I'm going to focus on the pleasures of food. Enjoy your food, without any worries or guilt. The idea is feel happy about what you eat without beating yourself up for eating something like say, a pizza. If you are mentally cool with it, than physically you probably will be too.

Few. Finally something I know something about!

I know! So easy.

Now, this doesn't mean that I don't need to loose weight or be healthier. But I'm not going to make myself miserable dieting either.

This brings me to the other thing that happened.

Yesterday was a lovely spring day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. In short it was the perfect day for a motorcycle ride.

Everything was set. Good weather? Check. Motorcycle? Check. Day off? Check.

The hitch? I couldn't fit into my riding pants! I was too fat! The horror. Because I'm a stickler for safety, I refused to ride in my stretchy pants.

Call me crazy, but if we should happen to fall (not that I don't trust you sweetie!), I didn't want a thin layer of cotton to be the only thing between me and the pavement.

To say my husband was disappointed is an understatement, and believe me I felt horrible. He was really sweet about the whole thing, but still. How embarrassing that we couldn't ride, because I was too fat.


We ended up having a nice, relaxing day, but we also had a long talk.

Both of us agree things need to change. Not just for me, but him too. We have unfortunately started to lead a very sedentary life style. Instead of doing all the fun things we used to, we have taken to spending almost all our time at home on the computer. Him working, and me blogging or surfing the internet.

Obviously this is not good. So we decided that both of us would start doing a bit of exercise each day. If we can't get out of the house, then at least we will make an effort to do sit ups and such at home.

Also? We are giving up desserts. Yes giving them up. I know this sounds drastic, but we both feel it is a huge contributor to our weight gain.

So of course I went around the kitchen last night finding all the yummies, and asking my husband but what about the cake I just bought, or the ice cream, or the Cadbury cream eggs? Too bad we had just gone shopping the day before.

Cutting out desserts is something we both should do even if we weren't trying to loose weight, since we both need to be careful about diabetes, as it runs in our families.

Instead of feeling sad about this, I actually feel encouraged. Like I said earlier I'm not dieting. I will still eat and enjoy my foods, even if they aren't low fat. I will not worry about that. In fact I'm not making an effort at all to make low fat meals.

If I choose to make dinner low fat, than fine, but I don't have to.

It helps that my husband is doing this with me, so we can hold each other accountable. With the exercising, and cutting out desserts, I feel this will help on the weight front a little.

I also believe that by at least getting some exercise my body will tone, and then I'll feel more comfortable with it, even if I do weigh more than the 118 lbs I wanted to get down to. Those days are long gone, I'm afraid.

The main thing is, is to be comfortable and enjoy myself. It's mostly about having a positive mentality. If you feel good mentally, you will feel good physically. Thank you Stace!

So it it with a good conscience that I can honestly say, that Easter Dinner tonight was wonderful! In fact it was so good, I had seconds. Mmm Mmm.

Nutty Behavior

Honestly I don't know why I bother. I might as well stop this blog, because it's obvious that I cannot stick to any sort of diet regime for any period of time.

However, I think I'll keep pressing on, in the off chance that I do miraculously start shedding the pounds.

What I need is some kind of drill sergeant like this guy,


that will kick my ass if I am caught sneaking bad foods out of the refrigerator. As this won't actually happen, what with it being hard to find mutant giant frogs in military dress , I have to find a way to do this on my own, and that my friends is so much harder.

Seriously today I consumed so many nuts it isn't funny. I probably gained 5 pounds from a combination of the high fat content and sheer volume of nut eatage. If I start sporting a top hat, monocle and twirling a cane like this guy

I wouldn't be at all surprised. Although I'd be really worried.

I don't know what my recent obsession is with nuts, but it's crazy. I never really cared for them before and now it seems I consume several varieties a day. I think it's partly because of the salt factor, because immediately after eating them, I have a strong urge to scarf down something sweet like peanut butter cups. And then the vicious cycle repeats itself, because after the sweet I need the salty. This is why I can sometimes be found to my husbands utter astonishment, eating a dill pickle one second and a brownie the next.

A worried look always passes over his face, but I assure him that if I were indeed pregnant it's likely I wouldn't be craving foods I already love, it's the weird combinations you have to worry about. Somehow I don't think he understands.

Anyhoo, my weight has reached epic proportions, and those three pounds I mysteriously lost before, are back with reinforcements. As I watch my feet disappear, and large fleshy rolls appear along my midsection, it's clear, that I really need to get my butt in gear.

If I didn't live out in the sticks, I might consider joining a gym with a personal trainer to hound me. Seeing that there aren't any gym's around, I have the perfect excuse not to.

However this doesn't mean that I don't have to at least stop gorging on the calories. Seriously I ate mouthfuls of whip cream today. I think I've hit an all time low.

If anyone is out there... Hello... hello... hello...

Do you have any tricks of the diet trade that have worked especially well?

Keep in mind that I have almost zero willpower, so it has to be fairly simple for it to stick, however, I'm always willing to learn new tricks. Who knows I might even keep at it...

Now if you'll excuse me I have some fettuccine Alfredo to eat. What? It has broccoli.

Successful Eating Tips. Can You Follow Them?

Well I realize I've been somewhat remiss with my posting this past week and I'm sorry. I honestly haven't had much to report since I can't seem to follow through with anything.

Anyhoo.. I found these tips on Flip This Body blog (good blog by the way), who got it from Hungry Girl (another good site, great weight loss ideas), while I was searching for diet inspiration, and thought I'd share it here. It's very insightful...

Top ATE Tips for successful eating in 2008:

1. Don't go "on a diet". (See I told you.)

While diet plans can be helpful, if you think of yourself as being "on a diet", everything will be too black and white.(Exactly. i.e. boring!)If you're on a diet and suddenly you have a little setback, you may decide you're "off your diet" (Um..Yea did that a few times) and go back to your old ways. Think of your new eating plan as more of a lifestyle change -- one that will have ups and downs, with good days and bad. (Is it okay if you have more bad days, than good?)

2. Don't deprive yourself. (Haven't I been saying this all along?.)Remember, your new eating plan shouldn't be about deprivation. (I knew it.)It should be about SATISFACTION. (Halleluhah!) Find foods you LOVE -- ones that satisfy you but are better choices. This is KEY. (Amen)

3. Drink lots of water. (oh. Um.. Does apple juice count?)Water is good for you. It's good for your skin and your metabolism. And it helps fill you up. Plus, not enough water can make you cranky and more likely to make bad food choices. (Is that why I eat so much ice cream?)

4. Listen to your body. (It told me to have lasagna and garlic bread tonight) It knows things. If you know that eating cereal for breakfast makes you hungrier throughout the day, then don't eat cereal in the morning. (But I like my Fruit Loops) Pay close attention to your body cues. This will help tremendously.

5. Live one day (or even one MEAL) at a time. (hey isn't there a t.v. show with that title?)Don't be discouraged and beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon and eat badly -- just be more aware of what you eat during your next meal. (hmm..I'm getting hungry.)

6. Get exercise with activities you enjoy. (But I can't possibly have that much sex in a day!)I used to HATE exercising. I feared it. Now I exercise but only do what I like (which happens to be walking on a treadmill 5 times a week while watching reality TV, ( I'd like that idea. Except hubby thinks this is lazy and won't buy me a treadmill) and weight training 2 times a week with a friend). Find something you actually like to do, and you'll do it. Don't take on an exercise routine that causes pain or discomfort (Don't they all?)-- you'll just end up ditching it completely.(too bloody right) (And I know this isn't an EATING tip, but it's important!)

7. Let yourself cheat a little. (Always do.)Everyone strays once in a while. It's totally normal. (I knew it!) Splurge when you need to, and enjoy it (don't feel guilty)! (I haven't been) Then get RIGHT back on track (oops.), and prove to yourself that you can handle a cheat meal now and then. (obviously I need more training in that area.)

8. Keep track of what you eat. Write it down. (right now I know I won't follow through with this) As dorky as it sounds, you WILL 100% without a doubt do better if you hold yourself accountable for what you eat by keeping a food journal. Just do it -- even if you only write in it every OTHER day.


So now you have it. All you need to know in order to loose weight.

Now all I need to do, is follow through...

Make room for ice cream..

I just had an idea on how to loose weight!

Eat less dinner. That way you can eat more dessert, thereby not gaining any extra weight. After all you are eating the same amount of calories, but just distributing them better, by taking them out of the regular meal and putting them towards dessert.

What? No good? Rats.

Back to the drawing board. I swear I'm gonna come up with a way to loose weight and eat ice cream at the same time.

For now though, I leave you with this...

I gained 1 pound back. I guess that ice cream caught up with me afterall. Drat.

But I like my ice cream..

Well I'm proud to announce that I have still kept the 3 pounds off! Of course I haven't lost anymore, but I'm not complaining cause I'm not gaining. Yea me!!

However, I came to another realization last night. See I suffer from back troubles and thought that the extra weight I'm carrying around is not helping my back heal. I'm pretty sure If I slim down It will help the pain. And that's just what I needed. A motivation. Something that will keep me from straying to the ice cream and pizza.

I have to admit also that although, I haven't been eating healthy per se, I have been eating less. Which I think is why I've kept the weight off. My meals are smaller and I'm not snacking as much during the day. Basically I'm doing exactly what I said during my last epiphany...

P.S. In the last 5 minutes I've spent writing this blog, there has been 3 diet commercials and one pizza commercial on t.v.

Hmmmm... are they trying to tell me something...

Dieting: It never goes out of style...

Since I don't have much to report on my diet, other than I'm hungry, and that I have kept the 3 pounds off so far(yeah me), I thought it would be fun to go back in time and take a look at some old diet advertisements that for some reason never took off...

Some things never change...Well actually they do. Take a look at some of these weight loss tips:

Well If that's all I have to do. I have no problem eating!

Well isn't this typical? The men are allowed to eat all the food. However, it doesn't seem like a good idea to eat 1 lb of meat a day, nor all that butter, maybe that's why women live longer...

And now, a word from the meat institute: "Do you feel tired, listless, washed out? Don't blame it one the heat. Blame it on lack of meat! It might be due to a lack of quality protein, the kind found in meat. All meat. Any meat, not just beef. Don't forget your frankfurters or wieners folks. A delicious way to help keep trim!" (How come no one told me this before?)

Shake, Shake, Shake...Shake your groove thang....


Why this never took off, I'll never know. A device that lets you lay around and do nothing, while it reduces your hips? Come on. It couldn't get better than that.

Here's a diet I can relate to. Candy. One of my main food groups. You mean if I eat candy, I can loose weight? Sign me up!

This is downright scary. I wonder how many people realize that these pills contain a uninary incontinence aid? And look at all the options. Orange pills, red pills, blue pills, green pills, happy pills...

A must read for every teenager. Get clear skin and loose weight, and you too will be popular!

No more laxatives. Just chew gum and the weight will melt away.

Hmm..Maybe there is a reason, these never took off. Could it possibly be that...

diets don't work?

In other news...

How gross is this? Selling tapeworms as a diet aid? Ick.

On another note, I'm proud to report those 3 pounds I lost, are still gone! Funny thing is, I haven't changed my eating habits yet. Although I think the stomach issue, I've been having these past few days, may have had something to do with it.

As long as it's coming off and not on, I'm not complaining.

And no, I don't have a tapeworm. At least not intentionally. Ha. Ha.

Oh Sweet Jesus...Thank You!

However, I think something may be wrong.

See I just weighed myself, and found that I had lost 3 pounds. You heard me. 3 pounds! How? How does that happen? I have not, despite what I said in my earlier post, been dieting. I mean I had Chinese food for dinner last, including walnut prawns which is basically pure fat congealed to shrimp. So very bad for you, but oh so tasty too! So you can see my confusion here.

When I last posted I had every intention of dieting, but then shark week came along and with it the cravings. Therefore, weight loss, sadly is not on this weeks itinerary.

Now of course that I lost 3 pounds without trying, that makes me wonder if I can just sail along with no effort and watch the pounds disappear. But, then reality kicks me in the head, and I realize that's exactly how I got into this mess in the first place. So I accept this wonderful, wonderful loss as a gift, and I will put every effort into making sure that loss continues. Yes. This means I will diet. (Just not until next week).

Don't believe me? Well, I'm not sure I do either...

Fat Explosion

I'm in a serious crisis now. The fat is expanding not reducing. Every day a new pound arrives on my stomach. My willpower is non-existent and summer is but a few months away. I. Need. Serious. Help! Not to mention more stretchy pants.

I realize as I write this post while eating a bowl of ice cream, that I really shouldn't complain about my weight gain. After all I only have myself to blame. The problem is, I just can't seem to stop myself from stuffing things like chocolate chips, cashews, and Brie cheese into my pie hole.

I am now convinced, that I have a mutant willpower gene/mechanism/button, whatever. From day 1 willpower and I haven't gotten along. I cannot think of a time where it has stood by my side, and supported me in my hour of need. Instead it chooses to abandon it's post long before the job is done, (really what kind of job performance is that)? Therefore I have decreed it must be broken, and it is by no means my fault that I cannot say no to temptation. Right? Hmmm...

Food = glorious, yummy, delicious, delectable ... I would go on, but it's making me hungry. Diet? = yucky and is a very bad word. Why can't good tasting, high fat foods be healthy? What kind of cruel trick was it, to introduce the people of the world to such delights as pizza, ice cream, and cream sauces? If you're gonna get me hooked on something, don't tell me it's bad. For Pete's sake I already had to give up drinking and smoking. Don't take away my yummy food too!

However, as I watch my fat grow and expand upon new territory,(when did my armpits get fat)!? It's painfully clear that if I don't fight back with heavy artillery, (bazooka's, liposuction)? I will loose this battle of the bulge for good. In an attempt to combat the blubber and fix this unsightly mess that is my body, I will (shudder).... get ready for it (gasp!) .... drum roll please ...

START MY DIET TOMORROW!!

What? Don't you trust me? Honest. This time I mean it.

Right now though, there is a bowl of ice cream that needs finishing...

Day one. Again.

Pounds lost? O Pounds gained? 1 Whoops.

Well it doesn't take a genius to figure out I'm not doing well on this diet. In fact I pretty much accidentally went off my diet altogether. After my day of freedom on Tuesday, things quickly went from bad to worse.

Dieting has always been hard for me, which is why I choose not to do it very often. My willpower isn't very strong, so If I stray off course, I'm likely to get completely lost. After Tuesday, I ate whatever I wanted Wednesday. And yesterday being Valentines Day, well I figured that wasn't a good day to behave either, especially after consuming popcorn, candy, hot dogs, and nachos at the movies. But it was a holiday, so technically it doesn't count right? Maybe I shouldn't have had pizza for dinner though ...

Which brings me to today. As I write this I'm eating a very yummy bagel with cream cheese. But only half. Although tonight my husband has requested enchiladas, which as a good wife, I said I would make. Doesn't that sound delicious?

Not a good train of thought when dieting huh?

So I have a new theory. I can't stay away completely from butter, and sugar which by the way includes a lot more foods then one would think . It may work for my mom, who come to think of it, doesn't even like chocolate (Is that normal?) but it isn't for me. Life has a bad habit of getting in the way of dieting. You aren't always able to follow a strict regime. Sometimes you have to eat out, and a salad just won't do, or you just need that piece of chocolate, brownie, ice cream sundae, whatever. The point is, I can limit my intake of problem foods as much as possible and eat smaller portions. i.e. put less Rice a Roni on my plate and more vegetables. Which I know is a big DUH right? Yeah well, It sometimes takes me a while to catch on. But I finally did, and I'm starting this theory today.

You see, I feel that we shouldn't deprive ourselves completely of the food we desire. It's too depressing. Especially for me who is a self proclaimed foodie. I love my food. I do not like to feel that I'm suffering when I have to eat a banana instead of a cookie. (I don't care what diet guru's try to tell you, the sweetness of fruit, does not replace the craving of cake, cookies etc.) I just need to learn how not to go overboard. That is the hardest part of all.

Have one peanut butter cup instead of the whole package? Ugh. Here we go again...

Uh oh...

Boy, I have to say that Chocolate and Peanut butter ice cream I had last night was gooooood! It's a shame there wasn't much left, but what little bit I had was wonderful. Yes I blew it yesterday, I completely disregarded my diet and ate anything I wanted for the whole day, and you know what? It was awesome!!

All the suffering, starving, and willpower over the last 5 days, have had absolutely no effect. I haven't lost ANY weight! You would think that eating salads for dinner, and not having desserts or yummy snacks would cause me to loose something. Anything. Just 1 tiny water pound? Nope, not a bit. I don't understand it. OK, yes I've had to cheat a little and strictly speaking I'm not following the diet all that religiously, but I know I'm eating less food, and it's healthier too. Plus I'm not eating any desserts, that has to count for something right?

Then there was yesterday. The problem started when I found that I had to leave the house early in the morning and didn't get home til late that night. Since I really need to grocery shop for more diet friendly food, I decided to just wing it food wise yesterday. For breakfast lunch and dinner I ate out. And since eating out was the only way I was going to get food, I decided to enjoy the experience and not worry about what I ate. I felt so free! And it tasted soooooo good. I've been working on this diet for less than a week and already I feel as if I haven't eaten a proper meal in months. The thing with eating out and being on a diet is, that I will not go to a dinning establishment and spend money on a salad as my meal only to feel hungry again 20 minutes later. When that happens I will need to spend more money getting something else to eat, that will most likely not keep me full either. You can see where this is going. Not only does it waste money, I don't have the time to keep getting food to keep my appetite under control. It's not like when you are at home, and if you are hungry again 3 minutes after eating a sandwich, you can walk to your kitchen and get a piece of fruit or something. Therefore, I chose to eat whatever I felt like while out and let the cards fall where they may. Diet be damned!

So, after writing the above, I decided to weigh myself after my gluttonous behavior yesterday. I don't believe this, I lost 1 pound!!! How? How does that happen? And most importantly what does this mean?

Day 4 or is it 2?

Well yesterday I did alright. Despite the fact that I was starving all damn day, I sort of managed to eat somewhat decently. I did have to cheat a little when I made a very healthy turkey sandwich (with no cheese!) and put a very thin layer of mayo on my it because you know, without it it would be too dry. And the mountain of avocado I slathered on wasn't an issue either, because hey, avocado is a good fat right? The strange thing was, that after eating the sandwich which was rather big once I layered on the tomatoes and lettuce, I was hungry again not an hour later. WTF?! Why? How does that make sense? What was even stranger, was that I had eaten several diet friendly snacks before the sandwich consumption, so technically I should have been stuffed right? Not the case. When I got home from work at 3:00, I was starving again. So I ate a bowl of cereal (fruity cheerios which are flavored with 25% fruit juice, so not really eating sugar). I then took a nap for about 1.5 hours and when I woke up? You guessed it. Hungry again. At this point I snacked on Triscuts because, besides liking them, according to the box they are heart healthy, have whole grain and fiber, and do not contain cholesterol. All good things. How the chunk of Brie cheese wound up in my mouth with the crackers, I will never know. At least there wasn't a repeat performance. For dinner I was also good, when I made myself a huge salad, topped with thousand island dressing (only dressing I own), but I hardly put any on, and the veggies and lettuce more than make up for a little indiscretion like that right? As a reward, I had 3 ravoli's and 4 bites of Kung Pao tofu, which happened to be fried, but that isn't my fault as I didn't know that before it was ordered. (yes it was leftover night). Approximately 1.5 hours later I was hungry! Again. Once again I had cereal, which brought my cereal consumption for the day up to 3 bowls. Hmm. Might need to find a better snack. Needless to say I fought long and hard with myself with alternate musings of screw this friggin diet and whether or not it would be cheating if I just had a tiny bite of the chocolate cake that happens to be residing in my fridge.

In the end I didn't eat the cake, and went to bed hungry, but hey It was worth cause when I weighed myself this morning, I hadn't lost any weight!!

Diet Days Ahead...

The time has finally come. I knew it would, but I didn't realize it would go this far. The other day I finally got the courage to step on the scale and saw three numbers that shocked me to my very core. I think the ricter scale may have registered a small earthquake. No I won't reveal the actual weight, but sufise it to say, it's the biggest I've ever been. Yikes! I knew I was getting fat when my wardrobe had dwindeled down to three pairs of stretchy pants and a handful of tee shirts, but this was ridiculus. No longer can I fit into my jeans, or cute little skirts. Cute sexy tops? A thing of the past. My favorite pair of go go boots? Nope. Even my legs are fat.

Obviously something must be done, but what? I love my food. Especially desserts, cream sauces, pasta, and cheese. Chocolate alone is an everyday essential, it's like oxygen. Oh and did I mention that I love to cook? Never trust a skinny cook has always been my motto, only problem is I didn't want to actually fulfill (overflow)that statement.

Exercise? Sure, I like doing active things, like hiking, biking, kayacking etc, but most of those activities go on in my mind. The idea is nice, and I know I enjoy it once I do it, but staying at home is so much easier. Plus, there are so many other things that need my attention (cleaning the house, watching tv, checking email etc). I could go to a gym or do some excercises at home, but nah. I always say I will but never do, see the problem with me is, I'm just not that diciplined in that department.

But... I can't ignore it any longer. Summer is coming and unless I want to walk around in a mumu I need to get off my fat arse and fix it.

There is only one thing to do: I need to diet. (Gasp!). I hate dieting. I tried Weight Watchers a couple of times, and lost weight, but got sick to death of counting points. Talk about obsessing over food. Every little thing (including drinks) needs to be added up, and guess what? I only got a grand total of 20 points a day! When you figure that breakfast alone, just cereal and milk (non fat) adds up to 5 points (and that's less than 1 cup of ceral I mean who gets full on that?) you start getting pretty discouraged. So WW was out. I spent the better part of two days researching diets online, and came across a few that I thought sounded good, but after reading more about them realized they weren't for me. Alas, I decided to turn to my mother, who has been loosing weight without following a specific diet. Her idea? Just cut out desserts and butter. She has lost over 30 pounds that way so it must work.

Hmmm... sounds easy enough. Desserts huh? well obvously I am going to need to make sacrifices, in order to loose weight, I suppose that I could give up that. Besides all that sugar is not good, and I don't want to end up diabetic. Butter? I can do that. Easy peasy. I hardly use it. Except when I put it on my pasta or bread, or mashed potatoes...What's that? no cream sauces either? Or cheese? Oh boy. Well, never mind I can change. (I think).

So today is technically day 3 of my new diet. But yesterday didn't count as I messed up when was forced to eat out, and accidently ate a cream soup (so not my fault as was fasely advertised under the title of roasted red pepper) and bruschetta that had been toasted with butter. And I may or may not have had thousand island dressing on my salad, last night, when after rumaging through the fridge noticed all diet dressing had expired and therefore had to be thrown away, even though the experation date was only last december. So right now I'm trying to be good and not run to the kitchen and stuff my face with a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich. Since I'm starving to death after eating ceral, yogurt, some diet chips and half a banana all in the 3 hours I have been awake, I'm not exactly sure how I will fare...